Monday, August 4, 2014

September is Coming.

Levi's Stadium, Santa Clara, CA © Helton, 2014 

August.
The chatter starts.
It begins quietly at first, with ghost-like whispers of fantasy.

A random bit of sports news appears in my People magazine and I'm tricked into reading it because it's one sentence long and they've hidden it right in between who's having babies and who's breaking up.

I catch rare sightings of men exchanging sly grins--not with women--but with the other males in the room. Something is up.

August.
It's when my brain tries to hold on to the last few rays of summer and ignore the little bits and pieces of bizarre info that trickles in from all around me...All while simultaneously trying not to have a sarcastic conversation with myself:



Who is Johnny Football and why do I care? Wasn't that the name of Keanu Reeves' character in Point Break? No, wait. Utah!! It was Johnny Utah. Whew. 

New stadium? If I get to go to a game, obviously I'll need a new outfit to match. I wonder what the new record setting price for beer is these days?

Sherman is ok with Peterson, but not Crabtree. Did I miss an episode of Real Housewives? I swear they all made up on the last episode...

I'm sorry, what? Who? Clowney? Jave...what? No, no, no. Jadeveon Clowney is NOT a name. No. Now people are just messing with me.

As you can see, I usually fail.

What does all of this mean, you ask? Well I'll tell you.
September is coming.

In a short matter of weeks*, football will once again dominate the households of millions of sports fans everywhere. Consider yourself warned.

However, you are not alone. I'm here to help you survive it all.


* The first game is on Thursday, September 4th, 8:30pm ET between the Green Bay Packers and the Seattle Seahawks.


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