Monday, September 27, 2010

The Mighty Saints Have Lost...

Drew Brees and his bad hair
...their first game since winning the Superbowl last year. Sigh. Atlanta Falcons' QB Matt Ryan and his team beat the Saints 27-24 in overtime (OT) on Sunday. Maybe the Saint's QB, Drew "Bad Hair Day Everyday" Brees finally let his comb-over get the best of him. The Saint's kicker, Garrett Hartley, missed an OT field goal which obviously didn't help matters.

#2- Our favorite "changed man," former dog-killer Michael Vick DID start this week and crushed the Jacksonville Jaguars with 4 touchdowns and 291 yards. If you remember from last week, the Philadelphia Eagles coach, Andy Reid, was getting pressure from all sides to start Vick over Kolb (pronounced "Cobb"). Last we heard, Kolb was scheduled to start, then mid-week, Reid changed his mind. I'm guessing he was happy with his choice. (Although it seemed pretty obvious to everyone else.)

"All Day" AP
#3- Brett "Gramps" Favre and his Vikings finally won a game this week! However, it really had nothing to do with Favre. It had everything to do with RB"All Day" Adrian Peterson. Peterson is super fast and Favre seems to be doing nothing more than throwing interceptions these days (this is bad). They beat the Lions who are now 0-3 (this is also bad). In any case, it must be nice for Gramps to finally win one.

#4- The Dallas Cowboys finally won a game as well. They defeated the Houston Texans in a battle for bragging rights in Texas.

#5- Chris Johnson is great once again this week after having a rough game last week. His Tennessee Titans beat the NY Giants 29-10.

#6- The Oakland Raiders lost...because their kicker absolutely choked. Three times! The guy (Sebastian Janikowski) missed three (count them) three field goals including one at the last minute that could have won them the game. Yikes. I'm sure he's getting hate mail and eggs thrown at him today.  The Raiders lost to the Cardinals by one point.

#7- And last but not least, there are only 2 teams so far that are undefeated (3-0) record. They are the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Kansas City Chiefs. The Chicago Bears and the Green Bay Packers are both 2-0. They are also both in the NFC North (read more about divisions at the top of the page in the tabs) and are division rivals. Luckily, they are playing each other tonight for Monday Night Football!

Kristin's date, Jay
Some things to watch tonight: Remember Jay Cutler (Gay Butler), QB for the Bears? Apparently, he's now dating Kristin Cavallari...we'll have to see how it affects his game. However, he's up against Packers QB, Aaron Rodgers who is really really good. He's one of the "top 4" QBs. (The other ones are Tom Brady, Peyton Manning and Drew "my hair sucks" Brees.) This is a great statistic to impress the guys.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Week 2: Battle of the Hot QBs

Mark Sanchez - Hot QB
It was a battle of hotness when the NY Jet's played the New England Patriots this past Sunday. Jet's QB, Mark Sanchez, went head to head against Pats QB, the always pretty Tom Brady in the new stadium that the Jets share with the Giants. He completed a pass to WR Braylon Edwards**, who scored a touchdown and then proceeded to dance in the face of one of the guys on the other team. Although this incurred a "taunting" penalty of 15 yards, it didn't really matter. Sanchez and his boys continued on to victory over the Pats 28-14.

Also of note in this game: Patriots' Randy Moss became the 4th WR in history to catch 150 TD passes in his career. This is a big deal. Impress your football friends with this one.

Braylon Edwards....busted!
(**Apparently Edwards got a little TOO excited from their win as he was arrested this morning for a DWI with four people in his car and a blood alcohol level of .16--twice the legal limit. Oopsie. Read more about it in "What's Hot This Week..." in the right-hand column.)

In other news, Brett Favre is getting old. Well, we all knew this but on Sunday he threw three interceptions and helped the Vikings get to a 0-2 start to the season. Yep, he officially should have retired last year.

Kim Kardashians ex, Saints' Reggie Bush got injured (knee) during last night's game against the SF 49ers. He was taken off the field and will get x-rays as soon as the team gets back to New Orleans. The Saints won the game by a last second field goal.

Kenny McKinley - RIP
On a very sad note, it seems that the Broncos' Kenny McKinley was found dead in his apartment yesterday after an apparent suicide. This is the third player in only a few years to die on the Denver Broncos. (Their deaths are unrelated.)

The Eagles' Michael Vick, everybody's favorite dog-killer, started his first game since 2006 and did a great job. However, the coach will be starting Kevin Kolb next week now that he has been cleared to play after his concussion last week. This is kind of a hot topic...ask your dude who he thinks should start, Kolb (pronounced "Cobb") or Vick?

Other bits: Chris Johnson and the Tennessee Titans did terribly (even though I told you last week that Johnson was amazing.)

Tony Romo and his Cowboys are still not doing well.

That's about it for this week. Enjoy!

Monday, September 13, 2010

Week 1: Sunday Recap

Hello my darlings,
I want to take a second to point out some new features of Chick 101 and invite all of my email subscribers to actually go to the website if you haven't done so in a while. This season I've completely re-vamped the site with new pages and even posted a "cheat sheet" with all the best players. Click here if you are reading this from your inbox.
You'll notice new navigation tabs going across the top for quick reference to Football rules and other good stuff. On the sidebar, look for explanations of positions and a new section, "What's Hot This Week" where you can quickly browse the hot topics in the NFL. As always, I welcome any feedback or comments and hope you enjoy the new layout!

Ok, let's get down to business:
I know you were all watching the VMA's last night (as was I...Lady Gaga's "meat" outfit? Wow. Don't send her to a tailgate party) so I will break down this weekends' goings-on in a language you can understand.

Chris Johnson
#1- Chris Johnson. Mention his name. A lot. As in, "Man, that Chris Johnson!" I guarantee your audience will be proud. Basically he is good. REALLY really good. He is a running back on the Tennessee Titans. The Titans crushed the Oakland Raiders 38-13 on Sunday.
That's about it. Chris Johnson, Titans, really good.

Arian Foster
#2- Peyton Manning and his Indianapolis Colts LOST to the Houston Texans. This is significant because this was the first game since the Colts lost to the Saints in last year's Superbowl in New Orleans. Also of note is rising star on the Texans, RB Arian Foster. He ran for a record 231 yards (a big deal) and scored 3 touchdowns. Peyton had a good game but Foster had a better one.

#3- Guys will be talking about the bad call in the Lions/Bears game. It seems the consensus is that the Lions should've gotten a last minute touchdown and was instead ruled "incomplete" by the refs. Typical comment: "Those Lions were robbed!" or the opposite if you happen to be a Bears fan :)

#4- Tom Brady and his New England Patriots beat the Bengals. This is important because Tom Brady is hot and we like to pay attention to what he is up to week to week.

Kevin Kolb
#5- Green Bay Packers vs. Philadelphia Eagles. Couple things-Kevin Kolb is pronounced Kevin "Cobb". Who knew? Impress your man with that one. Kevin Kolb/Cobb is also apparently really, really bad. That, or he just had a very bad day. No bueno. He replaced Donovan McNabb (who did great on his new team the Washington Redskins, ironically) and just didn't deliver. Michael Vick, notorious dog-killing QB, on the other hand, had a great day and performed much like his pre-prison days. I'm guessing that Eagles coach Andy Reid spent last night smacking himself on the head and questioning his decision making capabilities.

Tonight's two Monday night games are:
Baltimore Ravens vs. New York Jets
San Diego Chargers vs. Kansas City Chiefs
Until next time!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Vikings vs. Saints-The Rematch

NEWSFLASH: Our "Most Golden" Golden Boy, Patriots QB Tom Brady, was in a car accident this morning in downtown Boston. Don't start crying yet--all reports say that he was merely "shaken" and continued on to practice after the crash. Read more about it here

What you need to know about tonights game:

The Saints won the Superbowl last year and they also beat the Vikings in the NFC championship (the game that GOT the saints to the Superbowl). Drew Brees and his Saints defense played hard and dirty, bashing into 40 year old Brett Favre and caused him to throw 2 interceptions and get a few injuries--one requiring ankle surgery during the off season. Brees was chosen MVP of the Superbowl vs. the Indianapolis Colts. He brought delicious victory to a city who had never tasted the sweet, sausage-y taste of a Superbowl win.

Tonight the Vikings will be chomping at the bit and the Saints will be aggressively defending their World Champion title. It's a great season opener!

Other bits--this is Favre's record 286th consecutive start. Pretty amazing.
Coaching the Saints and the Vikings are Sean Payton and Brad Childress, respectively.
Each of the last 10 Super Bowl champions have opened its title defense with a victory.

{Side note: Favre became a grandpa in April. He is 40. (His daughter Brittany Favre, 21, gave birth to Parker Brett in April.) His newfound grandpa status, along with his gray hair and this being the 2nd season he's claimed retirement will make for some great commentary. It's also a REALLY easy subject to talk about with the guys.} 

And there you have it! Go impress your friends!!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

It's That Time Again...

...Football season is (almost) upon us! Welcome back to Chick 101, your source for the Most Manly of All Man-Sports--translated for your viewing pleasure into a language you can understand.

I am busy studying up on everything NFL and will be back with new posts by the start of the season (this Thursday, September 9th!!). In the meantime, feel free to brush up on the rules of the game and the positions using the links on the right hand side of the page.
I'm sure that lots of the men in your life have drafted their fantasy football teams by now. This year I did not get a chance to sit in on a live draft like last year so I'm going to re-post the ever popular post, "Fantasy Football: Kinda Like Playing Barbies." Enjoy!

It's good to be back.


Fantasy Football: Kinda Like Playing Barbies
Remember back, if you will, to when you went over to your friends' house to play barbies. Maybe you brought your own, maybe you played with theirs. Usually the host provided the settings (Barbie Corvette, Barbie Malibu Dream House, Barbie Surf Shop) and perhaps some snacks. Then the "playing" began--which, from what I remember--consisted of setting things up for a couple of hours, playing for five minutes, and then going home. This, my friends, is Girl Fantasy Football. How can this be, you ask? Allow me to explain.

A couple of weeks ago, I had the opportunity to sit in on a "live" Fantasy Football draft. My husband and his buddies all gathered at a friend's house (and they all arrived PERFECTLY on time I might add). Perfectly on time, super serious, and yet unabashedly giddy.

Now, when I say giddy, I'm not kidding. Guys are walking in screaming things like "Fantasy Draft 2009! Yeah!" Beers are cracking open left and right. Trash talking is rampant. If there had been more room, they would have run around the room pounding on their chests like monkeys.

Here's the scene as it settles: 10 guys sit in a circle with a piece of poster board up at the front. One stands at the poster board to write things down. Another guy is being conferenced in, meaning that someone has him on the phone--a headset, mind you--from Minnesota as he cannot be there for the draft. We'll call him Ted. The guy with the headset--let's call him Scott--is literally giving Ted the play-by-play of what is going on in the room as it's happening. I think this is nuts until I hear that Ted has no cell reception where he is staying in Minnesota so he had to DRIVE 45 MINUTES to sit in a parking lot and THEN be conferenced in. This is devotion.

As the group draws names out of a hat for the selection order, I realize that I am witnessing a scene very few women ever get to see. I look around. Toes are tapping, knees are bopping up and down. I hear giggling. The excitement is palpable.

I try to think what on EARTH this equates to in girl world. The only thing it reminds me of is the energy you feel when a group of girls are getting ready to go out for the night after they haven't seen each other in a while--gossiping, having cocktails, trash-talking people in the tabloids, giggling. Imagine a group of guys acting like that. HI-larious.

Now imagine that instead of going out for the night, you all pick Barbies out of a bucket (who happen to represent said people in tabloids) and then set them up all in a row, write down who has which Barbie and trash talk the other girls. This is Fantasy Football!

Basically, every guy now becomes a "coach" of their own "fantasy" team (Barbie squadron)--as in, if you could pick whoever you wanted out of ALLLLLLL the players from ALLLLL the teams (in the bucket), who would you choose? This is a little complicated by the fact that everyone else is probably trying to choose some of the same great players (best barbies), but I guess that's the excitement of it. At the end of the draft every guy now has his own personal team (usually named the Fart Knockers or something equally ridiculous).

During the season, the Fantasy Teams that are in the same league (those 10 guys) play one-on-one with each other (ie-The Fart Knockers vs. The Bone Heads) each week. This allows for much more personalized trash talking.

The "coaches" must pick players to "start" (play at the Malibu Beach House) or "bench" (stay home) certain players in each category. Every time a player does something like scores a touchdown (wins a race in the Barbie Corvette, scores a date with Ken) in REAL LIFE, the FANTASY team earns points. So, the fantasy teams' score depends on what the actual players do in Sunday's (or Monday's or Thursday's) games.

On the other hand, if you DON'T start someone who ends up having a really great game (you picked Paris Barbie to stay home when in reality, she rocked it out at the beach house), you miss out on the points. Are we getting this?

So back to the the picks begin, everyone gets anxious and starts yelling at the one who's turn it is to "Hurry up!", "Gooooo!". It feels like being trapped in a bad drinking game when people aren't paying attention. "It's your tuuuuuuuuurn!"

Things continue on in this fashion until everyone's Barbies are out of the bucket.

Now, you can begin to see why guys watch ALL of the games instead of just their home team's game. It's because, annoyingly, they now have to pay attention to players on lots of teams in order to keep track of their fantasy team. And, of course, it's rare that someone has just one Fantasy team--for instance, my husband has three.
I mean, it's kind of like a full time job at that point, right?

In any case, it was an experience I won't soon forget. Now I have to go play with my Barbies. 
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