Thursday, September 4, 2014

Betwixt Unicorns and Pigskins - A Poem.

The brilliant ad for season six of The League on FXX
Hark! What's that you say? 

Today? You say today is....Football day??
My remote can finally come out to play?

Up to the NFL network, or maybe RedZone?
Well do I want one game, or the bloody end zone?!

Oh such choices I have, now that football is back,
I can Sportscenter-on-repeat till I fade to black!

Do I jump Inside the NFL or learn some Hard Knocks?
And why are there no more Girl Scout cookies in this box??!

Do I research my players till the wee morning hours?
Or just pretend I own Unicorns with magical powers?

This year I have a Unicorn league of my own,
A group with their eyes glued to sporty smartphones, 

Oh yes, you've heard right, I'm in charge of a team,
A sparkly beast that makes small children scream!

Her team name, you ask? Well, she's quite the vamp,
She goes by the moniker, 'Brady and the Tramp'.

Hooray! Oh, joy! Such spectacular bliss! 
(And if by 'bliss' you mean it's antithesis),

Then I'm right there beside you, I promise, I swear! 
It's as exciting as dirt--or grape gum in my hair!

Tonight watch the Seahawks of the foggy Northwest,
Battle with screams, swears, and bumps of the chest,

Enjoy tonight's mythical, magical duel,
Watch the Packers of Green Bay try and make them a fool.

Happy 1st day of Football!!!! xoxo


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