Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Makeup and the Olympics

Or...a list of the hottest female Olympians.

Let me explain.

Alex Morgan USA soccer
Since football is a ways off and I find myself pumped up over sporting events these days, I've decided to take a brief Olympic detour.

I was watching the Olympics last night (and the last bunch of nights, to be honest), and I couldn't help slipping into Girl-Mode.

We've had a full week of the swimmers: Michael Phelps, Missy Franklin, etc, etc. The guys distract us by not only being good-looking but also simultaneously being freakishly tall, strangely triangular, in-shape specimens of the human race. No complaints here. The girls on the other hand...I hate to say it but no one--no girl, really--looks spectacular with no makeup and a swim cap and goggles on. The fact that they even try to wear earrings BOTHERS me. Really? Not even waterproof mascara and you're going with the pearl earrings tonight? Hmmm. Really? I have no Olympic experience but my experience as a female tells me that I'd way rather be sporting eyelashes on national TV than big, chunky earrings that might, in fact, slow me down considering that I am legitimately considered half dolphin at this point in my career.

Leryn Franco- Paraguay, Javelin
Ok, but that's just me. Maybe, just maybe, you--like me--saw the beginning of Track and Field and it dawned on you, too.

Yes!! Makeup!!

These ladies are sporting lashes, eyebrows, eyeshadow, gold chains, hair bows (?!) all in the name of being the fastest chick on earth. Listen, I'm happy to see the effort. If you spend 4+ years learning how to run/swim a really short f#@%# distance, well then look good, dammit!
It really begs the question of why certain waterproof makeup companies don't take this as the opportunity to market their fabulous products to certain homely-looking, wet Olympians?
I'm just sayin'.

Ivet Lalova, Bulgaria, Track and Field
I took it upon myself as your faithful servant to figure out who wears makeup and who doesn't at the Olympics. However, during my research I decided that we all know who does and doesn't. Gymnastics-yes, Track-yes, Swimming/Anything in the water-No, however I think Synchronized Swimming---yes? In any case, my search ended up being more about the hottest female athletes and who am I to keep these ridiculously great pictures from all of you. Indulge...pretend it's Us Weekly and they all have reality TV shows. Ommmmmmmmm.
Until next time!

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