Sunday, September 27, 2009

Week 3: What Happened?

Today we start our new feature, "What to say to a dude"! Below each game summary, there are actual quotes to "say to a dude" or anyone else you are trying to converse with in regards to this lovely sport. Enjoy! And please, try them out and report back...I'd LOVE to hear what the dudes say back!

SAN FRANCISCO 49ers VS. MINNESOTA VIKINGS:

Ok, first things first. Everyone will be talking about the catch by WR Greg Lewis from QB Brett Favre in the final seconds of the game. Review it here. No, really--go watch it now! I'll wait.

Notice up at the top of the screen, SF was up 24-20 with only a couple seconds to go in the 4th quarter. Keep watching and Brett Favre chucks the ball waaaaaaaaaaay down the field and into the hands of Lewis. His foot barely stays inside the line and he gets the touchdown. Notice that when he gets up everyone is watching the referees because it was such a close call. The Niners are visibly pissed when the TD is called. (And then it sounds like fireworks go off? Weird.) The Vikings are still undefeated.

What to say to a dude:
"So how 'bout that last drive by Brett Favre? Crazy, right?!?!"
"That last play was insane...I jumped right off the couch and spilled my Bud Lite!"
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DETROIT LIONS VS. WASHINGTON REDSKINS:
DETROIT FINALLY WON A GAME. Thank God.

What to say to a dude:
"Detroit finally won a game. Thank God."
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NE PATRIOTS VS. ATLANTA FALCONS:
Tom Brady's Patriots beat the Falcons. They managed to get 2 touchdowns. Once again, their kicker kicked ass by kicking 4 field goals. Good thing they have that kicker! His name is Stephen Gostkowski. I'll bet Tom Brady sends him a Christmas card this year.

What to say to a dude:
"Looks like Brady still isn't 100% recovered after his knee injury last year. I mean, I know they won and all, but he isn't looking too hot this year."
"Fred Taylor (Patriots) sure had a good game for being an over-the-hill running back, don't you think?"
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PHILADELPHIA EAGLES VS. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS:
The Philly Eagles won. QB Kevin Kolb threw for 391 yards and 2 TDs. Vick played, but only for a few plays (11 total). They're gradually introducing him back into the game--I'm guessing it's because 18 months in jail probably makes you a tad rusty.

What to say to a dude:
"So what do you think about Vick--think he'll be as strong as he used to?"
....and if he asks, "Well, what do YOU think about Vick? You say.....
"Well, they barely played him so it was hard to tell."
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NEW YORK JETS VS. TENNESSEE TITANS:
The Jets beat the Titans. The Jets are now undefeated with a rookie head coach, Rex Ryan--our favorite fan calling comic book villain--and rookie QB Mark Sanchez. Sanchez became the first rookie quarterback to start a season and win in his first three games. Rex Ryan is now one of only two Jets coaches to win their first three games.

What to say to a dude:
"How about that Mark Sanchez... He's the only rookie QB who's ever led the Jets to an undefeated 3-0 start, right?"
Advanced: "That Rex Ryan sure is something--being the only Jets coach ever to win the first three games of the season like that. NO, wait...I'm sorry, I'm forgetting about Al Groh in the 2000 season. How silly of me!"
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NEW ORLEANS SAINTS VS. BUFFALO BILLS:
Saints QB Drew Brees only an OK game, but the Saints still won--beating WR Terrell Owens' Bills. T.O. hasn't caught a ball in forever and to add insult to injury, he got hit right in the face and chest by a full bucket of popcorn thrown from someone in the stands as he was heading inside after the game.

What to say to a dude:
"When do you think we're gonna see T.O. on the highlight reel this season? He's not doin' too well!"
"And did you see him get reamed by that bucket of popcorn? Poor guy."
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DENVER BRONCOS VS. OAKLAND RAIDERS:
Denver crushed the Raiders. The Raiders only scored 3 measly points. QB Jamarcus Russell had an awful game, passing for 61 yards. This is very bad. To give you a reference, remember Kevin Kolb (Eagles QB) who threw for 391 yards.

What to say to a dude:
"Wow, that Jamarcus Russell is painful to watch--only 61 yards? That's just embarrassing."
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ARIZONA CARDINALS VS. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS:
As usual, Colts QB Peyton Manning destroyed the competition--in this case Kurt Warner's Cardinals. He completed 379 yards and threw 4 touchdowns. Personally, I thought the most interesting thing about the game was the Cardinals stadium. They have a fully retractable field that they slide out one end when the games are done, let it get some sun, have a concert or two then slide it back in for the next game! Watch a really cool video here.

What to say to a dude:
"Manning was pretty much unstoppable...as usual."
Advanced:
"That's the 18th time he's completed 4 touchdowns in one game. He beat Johnny Unitas' record....think he'll catch up to (Dan) Marino or (Brett) Favre?"
Silly:
"And did you see that amazing retractable field? So cool! Most domes can't have real grass."
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Only one more thing of note:
The Seattle Seahawks had a complete fashion "don't" this week with their hideous, neon green uniforms. Please look here--you may have to sheild your eyes. What were they thinking???
You may ask that to anyone. Please let me know if anyone gives you an acceptable answer.

Have fun and good luck!

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for the useful comments. I'm using as many as I can remember. That will only be one or two... but still...

    ReplyDelete

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