Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The Best Names in Football

Wow, I've been wanting to write this one for a long time. How many of you have heard a commentator say things like, "Man, that Visanthe Shiancoe is really doing great today!" Visanth.....who? Or how about Correll Buckhalter? Buck....huh?

In any case, it seems that certain positions have some particularly crazy names going on. While Quarterbacks tend to have nice, plain names like Matt Ryan, Josh Freeman and Michael Vick, the Wide Receivers and Running Backs seem to be blessed with some very unusual monikers. And it's funny, after I made this list on Monday, I began hearing these names all over Monday Night Football. So listen up...if you remember the name because it's funny or just plain bizarre, you'll still remember it! These are great fodder for conversations with your guy (or football fan). Enjoy!

So, we start with what I like to call the "Seans"...we've got:
Shonn Greene, DeSean Jackson, LeSean McCoy, Keyshawn Johnson, and my all time fave "Sean," Knowshon Moreno. Knowshon? Really?

Then we have the names that sound more like products or companies rather than what you call these people every day:
Santana Moss, Plaxico Burress, Arrelious Benn, Golden Tate, Early Doucet, DeMarcus Ware (like Tupperware?), Lofa Tatupu, and Peerless Price. Remember Priest Holmes??

Then we just have the just plain mean ones. What were their parents thinking??
Ebenezer Ekuban, Kroy Biermann, Darnell Dockett, D'Qwell Jackson, Rashard Mendenhall, LenDale White, Jermichael Finley, Lavernius Coles, Jerricho Cotchery, Elvis Dumervil and Montario Hardesty.


The ones I can't pronounce:
T.J. Houshmanzadah and Oshiomogho Atogwe.

Then, of course we have the guys that just make up new names:
Chad Ochocinco and this guy I found last night. Get this: Stylez G. White. Yeah, I'm sure that's your name, dude.

My favorites, you ask?
All time favorite has to be Dick Butkus of the Chicago Bears fame. For this season, it's D'Brickishaw Ferguson. D'Brickishaw. D. Apostrophe. Brickishaw. Now that is bold.

Stay tuned for Chick 101's Fantasy Football team coming before next week's games. You'll be able to compete with your guy while you watch the games! I'll explain tomorrow!

Love,
Molly


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